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Thursday, July 12, 2012

"Why do I smell wine?" -#NaBloPoMo

"Why do I smell wine?" our younger son asked me at 3pm one random afternoon.

My heart in my throat, breathing suspended, I was frozen. Perhaps if I don't move, he will walk away. You know, like nothing happened. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

"Mom?" I heard him probe.

Oh dear. There he was again. He wasn't behind me, was he?

"Do you smell it?" he asked.

Wondering how the heck he knew what wine smelled like, anyway, I slapped myself to my senses. I had to admit that I was caught, caught red-handed with a glass of wine. Never mind that it was in an every day plastic cup instead of fancy, yet telling, stemware.

"Beats me," I managed to say casually. "Maybe you're smelling my Mountain Dew," I said, all the while calling myself a liar and feeling every eye in Heaven casting down upon me. Great. Now I'm a drunk AND a liar.

Drat that wicked sensory system of his!

Feeling the equivalent of a fifty pound weight of guilt on my brain, I hid my cup behind the coffee pot and busied myself at the sink, mulling over this kid's sense of smell. It has always been insanely good. I should have known better than to try this.

My lie seemed to work, and I promised myself that I would not use that as reinforcement for future debauchery. This kid was worse than the Resident Assistant in the college dorm my freshman year!

When considering autism and the comorbid complexities that exist with sensory integration, most people tend to think of the negative characteristics--which are very real. However, there are some times in our household when we are able to remove ourselves from the weight of the moment, step back, shake our heads and marvel.

In our house, sensory integration dysfunction has given our younger son seemingly bionic senses of sound and smell.

Like the time I was trying to be nice to the kind aging man beside me in a waiting room who was talking and talking and talking and talking about---I don't know, the dawning of time? Eventually, I admit it, I pulled out my phone and did the unthinkable. I placed it on the far side of my lap to occupy my thoughts during the conversation.

I KNOW!! I'm a terrible, terrible person!!

I was an even worse person when our younger son, who was sitting across and down the next aisle popped his little head up and said, "Do I hear Angry Birds on your phone?"

Grrrr.

He's my own pocket moral barometer.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? If so, you might want to skip the urge to dip into that Halloween bucket which your child has forgotten about. You know, the one everyone thinks you've thrown away but we all know you haven't? As soon as you open the first treat, he's going to smell it. I don't care if he's upstairs, downstairs or in the back yard. You will be caught.

Been there. Done that.

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NaPoBloMo July Challenge. Cranking out the blog posts into the double digits now!

6 comments:

  1. Only one question...why do you care if he sees you having a glass of wine in the afternoon? You are an adult and a nice glass of wine is one of the many adult things you may do as you please. Now, having said that, if you're sloshing around in a drunken stooper, that could be a problem. lol

    Seriously, drop the guilt ... if anyone EVER deserved a nice glass of afternoon grape nectar, it would be YOU.

    Relax, toast W and enjoy your wine!

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    1. I've had the same discussion with friends. We were all reared to view alcohol differently. Views tended to range from no alcohol around the kids to letting the kids pour or sip once in a while. That said, I really didn't have alcohol around me in my formative years. And I'm not sure I want to send the message that mommy drinks in the afternoon home alone with the kids. Whoah boy. That would make for great tabloid reading!

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  2. This is so funny, Amy. Our local Dairy Queen is a drive through. When my kids napped in the car, that was my favorite place to go. Until they woke up and caught me red-handed. No more DQ for me. Sigh. Good luck--my suggestion would be to unwrap all the candy ahead of time.

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    1. Oh, noooo! How do you explain that one, you ice cream sneak??!! Hahaha!!!

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  3. Honestly I get why you feel like a guilty wino getting caught having a glass of wine in the afternoon. LOL At least you are over the age of 21 and of legal age to be partaking of a little bit. It is not like you are a fall down drunk, so I wouldn't feel too bad if I were you. Your kids must be like guard dogs able to smell out all debauchery! Your blog made me smile. First we hide a taste of wine from our parents...and then from our kids. UGH
    Might as well own up to it, and admit it tasted really good just about then. :D

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Once again, words of wisdom from Kathy. I might just do that!!

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