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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"J" Post 1: Just Post It!

I wrote my "J" post in the Blogging A to Z Challenge as we were approaching Easter. Anyone who knows me knows that holidays are my hurdle. They are the one thing that I've not been able to "blend" into life, to make lemonade out of lemons, to spend the day basking in the warm fuzzy glow of (albeit adapted)celebration. For what ever reasons, that hasn't happened yet for our family.

As for my feelings about that, well, I'm a work in progress.

"I need an idea for 'J'," I said to my husband as we were chasing after the kids one evening. The weekend was approaching, and we were trying to figure out what stores would be closed on Easter Sunday. Closed malls = anxiety ridden older son. We needed to plan.

"Joining," my husband said with a snort.

I think we both have work to do in that area.

The truth of the matter is, autism can be isolating. When it comes to holidays, our older son has a very, very difficult time. His needs simply can't at this time blend into celebrations that mean nothing to him. It's a matter of health and well-being.

For that reason, we often find ourselves not participating. My family is in another state, so I've given up celebrating with them. My husband might drop by his parents' home once the kids are in bed.

It is less than ideal. We look forward to growth, but we are also confident that we have made the right decision for our special family.

We are ok! LOL. But, you may not know it by reading the post below. It isn't all that happy. What it is...is real. So, I've decided to Just Post It!

Thanks. In case you question it, we're fine--particularly now that the holiday is over!

9 comments:

  1. Good to know you are fine now that the holidays are over. Phew!! Do you have any respite care available to you? I hope that you have some outside help. I do know how isolating Autism can be--I also know that in some places there is help. I used to be one of those helpers!

    Take a deep breath--I'm glad you decided to Just Post It!!

    Cheers, Jenn
    http://www.wine-n-chat.com

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  2. Hi, Jenn: We are now getting some help in the house...they operate like mother's helpers. We've not found anyone who can truly take care of our older son's needs in our absence. We're fine. The holidays are "bummer moments" where we just work to find happy moments and run down the clock.

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    1. Oh good!! Even Momma's helpers are better than going it alone at times!! Glad to hear it :)

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  3. glad you are okay now--and although i love when my extended family gets together--i jokingly--although i really did used to do this-----told her i needed twinkies after each visit

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  4. I can only imagine how overwhelming holidays can be. Glad you survived. :D ♥

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  5. I actually understand and in someway envy you. My kids and my husband love to get together with his large, loud family on holidays and even on just weekends to celebrate and eat and hang out. I love the idea of this, but the large number of people paired with the stress of being the domestic on in the kitchen plus the amount of noise overwhelm me. I am fortunate to not have a panic attack every time, but I do dissociate and just check out completely quite often. I wish I could just excuse myself from the holiday celebrations, but I can't. (Except Thanksgiving, it happens to be our anniversary weekend, so it's easy to bow out without judgement). I'm glad you have found a way to make it through the holiday's even though you miss your family. Perhaps someday they boys will be able to attach some significance to the holidays and take baby steps to family get-togethers.

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  6. I love and appreciate your honesty! I can understand the relief of a holiday being over. Holidays can be a difficult time - so many expectations. At least, you know what to expect! Take care! :)

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  7. Holidays blow. I'm not going to sugar coat it. But add in craziness, sensory overload, food restrictions...not enough Mimosas in the world, baby. It's give and take, you are doing what is best for your son. Why put him through that anxiety if you don't have to? Good for you. Counting down to 4th of July. Earmuffs...earmuffs anyone?

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