Tsk. Tsk. That naughty blogging group of mine! It's topic week #100, and members have been challenged to be open with the world about personal experiences with "The Big-O".
Well...my goodness.
However, since it is week #100, a milestone for the group, I have accepted the challenge and will boldly admit to this: My husband was out of town for four days this past weekend, and I experienced many "Big-O" moments.
In fact, "Big-O" moments happen to me all the time. Most memorable moments in our house involve a "Big-O" moment. I do believe that I can make a short list. Giggle.
The Top Five "Big-O" Moments In Our House
5. Ornery
He who does not think that 'ornery' can rise to the level of a "Big-O" moment has not known the intense orneriness that comes from the active mind of a mentally intact, nonverbal autistic child. Our older son's orneriness can elevate the chaos in our lives in the blink of an eye.
Older Son: Hm. I don't really feel like bolting here in the mall, but...I'm kinda bored. Let's have some fun with the talking non-autistic people. I think that I'll run a few steps just to flip them out on 3...2...1..GO! Snicker. Should I really get them going and go out of sight and around a corner?
Older Son: Attic. Must unscrew every bolt to the attic stairs/ceiling fan/"obstructive" pieces of plywood that parents thought would keep me out of that wondrously, fascinating attic!
Older Son: See this thing that turns on the light? It's WAY FUN to unscrew all of them from every lamp in the house just before dusk!
4a. Oh No!
The first sign of trouble. That first reaction to the realization that the climate around us is about to take a sharp turn.
The Whoosh! that is the flushing of the upstairs toilet. OH NO! Older son has made a solo trip to the bathroom! His aim is not so great right now. Has he urinated on the wall?
Older Son: See this? It is the Best toy in the world EVER!
This is where it is positioned on his bedroom rug. Always. That is, of course, unless his bedroom floor is messy, or there is chaos, or someone is rushed or otherwise careless. Then, the vacuum could be bumped. Then, it could end up positioned here:
Or, here:
Or, here:
Gasp! OH NO! Whoever kicked it is surely thinking of this "Big-O" phrase, and I guarantee that our Big Guy is thinking of it also. Up he will spring from bed as he settled into a string of OCD rituals aimed to moving the loving vacuum back to its precisely rightful spot on that carpet. Back. Forth. Side. Center. Side. Center. Step away to observe. Cock head. Repeat a million painful times.
4b. OM(God)(Goodness)!
Take a pick based upon your own belief system. I'm at the point where I'll admit to not being squeaky clean under stress.
Used when pressure settles in, sometimes laced with a dose of shock.
For example, upon examining the upstairs bathroom after hearing the Whoosh! of the flushing toilet, I learned that, yes, our son did, in fact urinate on the walls behind the commode...and the ones beside the commode...and the curtains...as well as the cabinet and sink behind him. I guess the urine formed a nice big puddle on the floor in which he stood before leaving the room. Across the bathroom floor and down the hallway carpet leading to the room was a trail of wet footprints. OMG!!
4c. Oh Shazam!
Only, it isn't "Shazam" that I say. I'll admit to it. I'm human. I have flaws, and one flaw happens to take the form of a potty mouth when the pressure of special needs in this house becomes intense.
I realized my problem when my older son learned to say...ahem..."Shazam"...before he learned to call me "Mamamommy". He said it on the school bus. Cringe.
3. Octopus, Opossum, Osprey, Orangutan, Orca, Otter, Owl and Oyster.
I just asked our nine-year-old son to name every animal he could that started with the letter "O". This was his list. How could you do?
He additionally started spewing facts about various mating seasons, animal classifications, habitations, natural known predators and, frankly, I can't say what else. By this point, #4b kicked in, and my left eyelid started to twitch.
His brain is at once lovely and relentless.
2. Ouch!
Autism and gastric pain. It often goes hand-in-hand. Our older son does not know what it is like to live a day without pain, and it saddens me.
1. Oh Shazam! Part II
Absolutely, how I am spending most of my "Big-O" moments these days, because when our older son turned 11 years old, he decided to avoid using the toilet when going #2 as much as he possibly could.
'Nuff said.
*********
This entry was written in response to a word prompt issued by the Group Blogging Experience 2 (GBE2).
Well...my goodness.
However, since it is week #100, a milestone for the group, I have accepted the challenge and will boldly admit to this: My husband was out of town for four days this past weekend, and I experienced many "Big-O" moments.
In fact, "Big-O" moments happen to me all the time. Most memorable moments in our house involve a "Big-O" moment. I do believe that I can make a short list. Giggle.
The Top Five "Big-O" Moments In Our House
5. Ornery
He who does not think that 'ornery' can rise to the level of a "Big-O" moment has not known the intense orneriness that comes from the active mind of a mentally intact, nonverbal autistic child. Our older son's orneriness can elevate the chaos in our lives in the blink of an eye.
Older Son: Hm. I don't really feel like bolting here in the mall, but...I'm kinda bored. Let's have some fun with the talking non-autistic people. I think that I'll run a few steps just to flip them out on 3...2...1..GO! Snicker. Should I really get them going and go out of sight and around a corner?
Older Son: Attic. Must unscrew every bolt to the attic stairs/ceiling fan/"obstructive" pieces of plywood that parents thought would keep me out of that wondrously, fascinating attic!
Older Son: See this thing that turns on the light? It's WAY FUN to unscrew all of them from every lamp in the house just before dusk!
4a. Oh No!
The first sign of trouble. That first reaction to the realization that the climate around us is about to take a sharp turn.
The Whoosh! that is the flushing of the upstairs toilet. OH NO! Older son has made a solo trip to the bathroom! His aim is not so great right now. Has he urinated on the wall?
Older Son: See this? It is the Best toy in the world EVER!
This is where it is positioned on his bedroom rug. Always. That is, of course, unless his bedroom floor is messy, or there is chaos, or someone is rushed or otherwise careless. Then, the vacuum could be bumped. Then, it could end up positioned here:
Or, here:
Or, here:
Gasp! OH NO! Whoever kicked it is surely thinking of this "Big-O" phrase, and I guarantee that our Big Guy is thinking of it also. Up he will spring from bed as he settled into a string of OCD rituals aimed to moving the loving vacuum back to its precisely rightful spot on that carpet. Back. Forth. Side. Center. Side. Center. Step away to observe. Cock head. Repeat a million painful times.
4b. OM(God)(Goodness)!
Take a pick based upon your own belief system. I'm at the point where I'll admit to not being squeaky clean under stress.
Used when pressure settles in, sometimes laced with a dose of shock.
For example, upon examining the upstairs bathroom after hearing the Whoosh! of the flushing toilet, I learned that, yes, our son did, in fact urinate on the walls behind the commode...and the ones beside the commode...and the curtains...as well as the cabinet and sink behind him. I guess the urine formed a nice big puddle on the floor in which he stood before leaving the room. Across the bathroom floor and down the hallway carpet leading to the room was a trail of wet footprints. OMG!!
4c. Oh Shazam!
Only, it isn't "Shazam" that I say. I'll admit to it. I'm human. I have flaws, and one flaw happens to take the form of a potty mouth when the pressure of special needs in this house becomes intense.
I realized my problem when my older son learned to say...ahem..."Shazam"...before he learned to call me "Mamamommy". He said it on the school bus. Cringe.
3. Octopus, Opossum, Osprey, Orangutan, Orca, Otter, Owl and Oyster.
I just asked our nine-year-old son to name every animal he could that started with the letter "O". This was his list. How could you do?
He additionally started spewing facts about various mating seasons, animal classifications, habitations, natural known predators and, frankly, I can't say what else. By this point, #4b kicked in, and my left eyelid started to twitch.
His brain is at once lovely and relentless.
2. Ouch!
Autism and gastric pain. It often goes hand-in-hand. Our older son does not know what it is like to live a day without pain, and it saddens me.
1. Oh Shazam! Part II
Absolutely, how I am spending most of my "Big-O" moments these days, because when our older son turned 11 years old, he decided to avoid using the toilet when going #2 as much as he possibly could.
'Nuff said.
*********
This entry was written in response to a word prompt issued by the Group Blogging Experience 2 (GBE2).
Love the five count and sub count. Seriously - those are some mighty intense "O" moments. Mine pale in comparison. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was the only way I was going to make that topic work for me. lol!
DeleteOnce again I am laughing at your pain. I am the worst friend EVER!
ReplyDeleteYou cannot write posts like this to find my compassionate side they only find my funny bone. I'm so glad you can find humor in what is nearly unbareable. I know it is hindsight that allows this and most assuredly not in the moment.
Will's brain is in fact so intriguing. So capable of holding so many facts on so many interesting topics. I am profoundly jealous of him! I ca hardly remember my name these days. I literally have more notebooks than any sane person would want, but no one ever accused me of being sane. Brilliant, yes, but sane, not so much.
Love to you all and keep sharing these tell all "O" moments! I loved them.
Oh, go ahead and laugh. I do!! I laugh even as I'm in the situation and cursing. lol! I'm a work in progress...
DeleteNever a dull moment in your household. Oh, my.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com
thats it..if you don't write your OWN BOOK seriously. Every blog you have written for our GBE2 could be a chapter..just add the pics....i LOVE the pics ((hugs))
ReplyDelete