The last time I posted here on this blog, I was a frazzled mom waiting for the school year to begin. Hanging onto my "school vacation" sanity by a thread and anticipating the structure that comes with September, I looked forward sending our older son to his program and digging into a new life here at home, tutoring and home schooling our school phobic younger son.
New teachers, new teams, new schedules, new issues, new challenges, new behaviors, old behaviors, same problems, same diagnoses, same great kids, same tired mom, same full plate. No tragedy. No depression. No tears. Just a very full plate.
As all of this unfolded in the weeks after "school vacation", I walked past the door to this Cave. Sometimes, I made myself come in here and sit in the chair. Staring at the computer, I often felt nothing and everything all at once.
Two children. Two. Two with ASD diagnoses and the co morbid issues that often accompany autism.
At their young ages, mom is the facilitator, the conduit used to bring their current level of learning to their future potential. I am their safety net. I am their champion. To move mountains for two children at once can simply be all-consuming.
You know that popular saying about not being able to see the forest for the trees? Meaning, that a person can't see the big picture because he was too focused on the details of the situations? One thing that has actually always worked well in our household is that my husband and I have done the opposite. And, lately, I've lost sight of that approach. Lately, I have not been able to see the trees for the forest.
The totality of this life has reduced me to a work horse, and I've forgotten the small things, the things that have traditionally kept this family moving. Things like celebrating the change of season. Halloween.
Things like The Mom Cave.
We don't live ignorantly in this house. Certainly, we are aware that autism and the varying special needs we are facing are life-long. However, to focus on them entirely turns life into a grind. Today, I took a step back. I walked into my Mom Cave, and I forced myself to type.
Hello to everyone for the first time in quite a while.