Tuesday, December 27, 2011

GBE2 Challenge: 15 Minute Free Write

My loving blogging group has issued its members to do a fifteen minute free write. I guess its an exercise where we sit at the computer and purge what is on our minds for fifteen minutes. Don't edit. Don't censor. Then, if we dare, we post.

I'm sorry, did someone just say that I can let those little voices out of my head?


And, no, I don't think I'm crazy. I think it is perfectly natural. Those voices started the first day I became a mom.

Hm. Does he look right? I've never seen a baby do that before. Shouldn't he be sitting up/crawling/walking/standing/moving better/talking/feeding himself ? Shouldn't he be on track by now?

But, I was a first-time mom. First-time moms don't like to voice such taboo things if they don't have to. So, I kept those voices to myself. As time passed, the nature of the questioning changed.

Please, don't let anyone else see that he doesn't care about the kids in the playgroup. No, he is not playing with the drainpipe. Maybe they'll think he's dropped something down there.

I'll ignore that my son is growling like an animal at everyone. Maybe then everyone will ignore in return. Heck, maybe nobody will notice...

On insane days in this house, this is what I'm really thinking:

Will somebody please put a cork in this kid's mouth because if he talks to me for a second longer about another dot he's going to draw on a page among forty-bazillion other dots I seriously think I'm going to go insane! Please, oh, please, can someone just drape me in an invisibility cloak for the rest of my 40s? Please?

And let me have a glass of wine.

I appreciate the words of others when I am told that I am a natural mom and that I am a patient parent to these kids. Yet, here's another truth: patience in this house is a practice, and I go about it minute by minute. I don't believe that there is anything natural about this type of parenting other than the fact that all people deserve love and I am doing everything humanly possible to crate a quality of life for my two children that have turned into a couple of worthy projects.

I'm sure, in the end, I will be proud of the result. I have faith in the journey.

But, gosh, must every step be such work?

Live. Let Live. Accept and Love. When that fails, find some great friend, and behind closed doors, let these voices out. Have a glass of wine. Vent. Regroup, and start tomorrow fresh.

Tomorrow always arrives strong. So must you.


  1. I have been craving a glass of wine ever since I did my post. I got some for Christmas. Perhaps I should just go ahead and uncork one. :-P

  2. Power of suggestion...:) BTW, W is drawing and humming Lady GaGa. Talk. GaGa. Talk. GaGa.

  3. amy,
    sounds like you should purge regularly.... the health benefits are grand....
    my ears are open, listening...

  4. "Tomorrow always arrives strong. So must you."

    Is that an Amy Original? The phrase should at least be on a T-shirt, if not hanging on a prominent wall!

  5. heheheh... this was a fun read Amy! Make it a habit to write without restrictions :-)

  6. I think I write without restriction often? That's my style. That's why you guys see so many typos in my posts!! I think I need to follow Mike's advice from another blog entry and be more thoughtful with my entries? Hm....

  7. I don't know if you understand what a great mom you are. You say it like it is and accept it. Now for the wine....

  8. Your last line is simply great, no other remarks needed!

  9. I think you underestimate your fabulousness in the parenting department. There's nothing wrong or 'less' about being purposeful in terms of patience (or anything else). You do what needs to be done and you do it with love, care, an eye for excellence, and the heart to know that those sometimes strange little men are absorbing all that you give them.

    I think when this week draws to a close, all of us who have done this exercise deserve wine. Big glasses of wine.

  10. I think children are the best marketing campaign wine has ever had. Forgive yourself for losing patience, we all do it more often than we feel we should.

  11. dang woman........another CHAPTER :0) hey ever try JOSH! great Cabernet. i should mail you a bottle :0) no really, this is incredible not only insight, but real love.......breathing it in and can't wait to have a autographed copy of your book. (achem) hehe