Monday, May 30, 2011

Battle of the Buldge

I am mad at my scale. I would love to say that we are ignoring each other right now, but I am chained to it. I'm afraid that if I break those chains, which are invisible, of course---how crazy do you think I am?--then the next thing you know I'm going to be some woman with incredible back fat shot by hidden cameras and placed on the People of Wal Mart videos.

What, do you think the people on those videos EXPECTED to be on them? MY POINT EXACTLY!!!

I need that darned scale to keep me in check. It's my daily slap of reality. But, ugh, must it always be a battle? Let me rephrase: must it always be a battle until you decide to just give up?

Here is where I am right now...

Top Ten Reasons Why I Will Not Win the Ultimate Healthy Body Guru Award

10) Counting points is for the birds.

9) Wine

8) I cook special diets for my kids seemingly ALL DAY. I truly have no energy to cook fresh/low fat/organic/fabulous food for the adults in the house.

7) Poop. There is an abundance of it here. Out of the toilets. It will drive anyone to stress eat.

6) After a "delicious shake for breakfast and lunch" I am ready to eat a house.

5) Homeschooling. Seriously. Great bonding time with your child. Rough stuff for your nerves and your waist line.

4) Wine


2) Husbands. Sometimes a special need all of their own.

1) Case in point: I started typing this well over an hour ago. Since that time, I have been in and out of the bathroom with a screaming child. After this, looking like America's Next Top Model doesn't seem so important now. However, I know that it will again soon...

maybe after that glass of wine.


  1. I totally get this. Diet is a four letter word.


  2. New Diet Taps into Pioneering Plan to Help Dieters Lose 20 Pounds within Just 21 Days!