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Friday, April 15, 2011

The Titanic!

Great news!

Ninety-nine years ago, the Titanic scraped an iceberg and had begun it's descent into the ocean. This is big doin's in our house! Our resident specialist is already spewing facts at warp speed.

Is this better than Pokemon?

Who wants a play-by-play?

In a nutshell, ship meets iceberg. Iceberg scrapes ship. Water pours into gash on side of ship, filling first six compartments with water in less than ten seconds. This pulls the bow of the liner under water. It was doomed to sink from that point.

And I didn't even have to consult a book. I've been taught by the best: my son. You are most welcome for my succinct version, because here is a taste of what I'm getting:

"And, you wanna know what? It was really dumb for the captain to put the engines into reverse as soon as they saw the iceberg. They should have HIT the iceberg head on, mom, because the Titanic would have handled that impact. Everybody knows that. You wanna see how high the water was in the compartments mom? I can show you. Well, I'm just a kid, but kids were much smaller in those days because they ate gross food. So, my version won't be entirely accurate, but if you stand on a chair like this, basically the water was up to my head. And, you wanna know what? I bet that water tasted GROSS! I wonder if fish came in the boat? If you think that I'm tall on this chair, you should have seen how tall the Titanicwas. It was exactly 882 feel long. That's almost as tall as the Eiffel Tower. Do you know where the Eiffel Tower is mom? That's in France. I'll go to France one day because I like french fries..."

Heard enough? He's made a life boat out of couch cushions on the family room floor.

To make matters worse, in homeschool today, I am introducing to him the parts of the human body. Holy smokes, this could go south fast, if you know what I mean. I am truly not prepared for his mind to get stuck on anything of delicate nature and to have it blurted to every stranger he sees for the next month.

Positive thoughts, my friends. I have my coffee, and I'm about to tackle the day.

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