Morning Chatter

"Can I tell you what? Frogs are weird. Oh, and, by the way, if I were a planet, I would NOT want to be located near the sun. NO WAY! CR-AAZZZYYY!"

I can tell it is going to be one of those mornings. Our younger son has rightfully earned his nickname of Chatty Charlie. He's even moved a chair into the kitchen so that he can have his one-man conversation beside me as I make waffles and prepare his brother for school.

"You wanna know my favorite 'Looney Tunes' episode? Well, uh, I don't quite remember. But 'Pokemon' is quite nice. I wonder if 'Pokemon' was playing on the Titanic when it was sinking? That would be cooool. Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, that would be sooo cooool."

I love him, but my left eye is starting to twitch. I find it very difficult to engage in insane conversations when he doesn't even want my input.

"Those people in 'Twister' were crazy, by the way. They went into the barn when the tornado was headed right for the barn. They were crazy. Simply crazy. Everyone knows that you need to find a ditch and lie down. Why go into the barn? They are about as crazy as that guy on 'Storm Chasers' yesterday. Insane. And, can I tell you what? I think our rocks are really old. They are the color of old. Garsh, your skin is about the same color as our rocks! Huh!"

Gee that's nice to know.

"Can I tell you what? Dad is fat. I don't even think a tornado could lift him."

"Well, maybe not an F1, but I think Dad can be moved by other tornadoes." My only contribution to the conversation. You can thank me later, dear.

"What if an F5 sucked all of us into outer space? I hope we wouldn't run into a black hole. And, again, I ABSOLUTELY don't want to be near the sun. And, can I tell you what? If I could live in my Super Mario Brothers game, I would want to live on level five. It rules."

So far, he has not come up for air. There isn't enough coffee in the world to have me prepared for this first thing in the morning. I want to tape his mouth. A cork? ANYTHING! So, I fixed him breakfast, thinking food will quiet him. but the thoughts were apparently too much to keep in his head. He ate roamed, following me as I did my pre-school chores.

"Can I tell you what? Your coffee smells gross. I will never drink coffee. I bet monsters drink coffee or monster trucks. Monster trucks probably use coffee for fuel. You are drinking truck juice! Hahahaha! Gross! I bet the Titanic could have run on coffee."

He gets out a plastic boat and a tuperware container. Water play.

"This was the angle of the Titanic when it sank. When this much water was on its deck, there were still people stuck on board. Can I tell you what? I'll just start from the beginning and teach you the whole thing."

All this before the morning bus.