Sunday, July 22, 2012

Mom's got it--#NaBloPoMo

Well, that didn't go so well, I remember thinking one day as I rushed out of an annual review for one of our sons and his services. My heart was racing.

Happy to walk away from the hostile discussion, I realized I was late to collect our younger son, and I quickened my pace to get out the door.

Annual review meetings with the school district's special education committee determine the following year's placement for a child who receives special education services. It also determines the level and type of those services as well as any supports the child might need.

They are necessary. At best, they aren't fun. At worst, ugh, despair for your child, his future and where to turn for what you feel is a proper education. Sometimes all is smooth. Sometimes parents have to hire a lawyer.

My parents didn't deal with special needs with their children, not in the way my husband and I do. Yet, I truly believe that my mom lived with a special needs household of her own kind. Four kids. Sometimes up to six dogs at once. Fish. Parakeets. Hamsters.

Hamsters that had babies that the neighbor's dog set loose in the basement when he broke into the house. A couple horses and a whole lot of family craziness, and I don't know how she didn't run screaming from the house on a daily basis.

It never occurred to me as a child that she should.

Not even when the love of my life--my dog--got into a fight with a brother's scrappy mut mixed breed, a street smart dog who apparently learned how to bite the eye socket of my dog's eyes just so and...POP!

Out came the eyeballs, hanging by some something-or-other.

I handled this quite appropriately. I screamed. C'mon, wouldn't you???

Yet, my mom called the vet, learned how to pop the eye back in, and, well, all was well until it happened the next time. No worries.

As a child, I'm sure I was quite useless in such situations. Thank goodness my mom had it under control. After all, that's what parents do, right?

Walking out of the annual review that day, I thought of the events that brought me to my departure. I'm positive that none of the parties were acting at their best. The discussion was headed nowhere in a heated manner, and before it went somewhere my husband and I did NOT want it to go, I stopped it.

It's a parent's right, at least in New York state, so, I exercised it.

Voices high, tempers flared...we all needed a breather. We could have all behaved better. And with that I stood and walked out the door, not looking back and feeling the weight of responsibility that came with directing the lives of our two children.

Our kids don't know the decisions that go into their complicated little lives. They are, after all, just children. And in those moments when I encounter a roadblock on our journey, I want so very much to do the right thing for them.

Have I got it? Can I slap the proverbial eyeball back into the dog's head without a thought and move forward? Lol. Sometimes I wonder.

One thing I do know, as the youngest of four children, I've at least learned to be resilient. If nothing else, I'll just keep at it.

NaBloPoMo July 2012 Challenge. I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Is that a mirage?


  1. This is day 22 of 31...the end is in sight ... I know that makes you happy, but it kinda makes me sad. I'll miss the daily posts about kids.

    This one is remarkable in that it is really about campaigning for your kids futures. Being in charge of their destiny is every parents biggest job and for you guys, it's a matter of being diligent and never giving up the battle to win the war.

    Requiring schools to meet your child's needs is a necessity for all parents, but in the special needs category, it is a war. While the school chooses minimum, you must insist of maximum. While they worry about dollars spent, you must worry about wasted time where opportunity could reside. That will mean war and it does require resilience, which you seem to have an excess of, thank God.

    Again for the 10,000th time, you are a super mom and I so respect you for demanding your children be given what they need to grow.

    I respect you for a lot of other reasons, too, but that one is just my favorite!

  2. Oh my Amy, once I got through the dog's eye popping out of his head I couldn't quite get past it!! Ewwww! It must be a never ending battle filled with stress trying to get the education your son deserves.


    1. Lol! Hey, notice that I wasn't the one touching the eyeball!! :). For the most part, I could handle advocating for one son. Doing it for two has been an adjustment for me this year.