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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

GBE2: Simplicity

There are times when I come to sit in this Cave, worn and battle-weary, and all I can muster is to stare shell-shocked at the blank screen of this computer. Although it is quiet in here, my ears ring from the screaming chaos that comes along with special needs. This morning is one of those times.

Our week of February Break is over in New York State. Dear gracious, it about kills me every time. Am I the only mother who can't stand the thought of watching her children? No. I know that I'm not. I know that other special needs parents feel the same dread. And, please, don't think that I don't love my children.

Simplicity.

I sit here today thinking of the topic given to me by my blogging group, and I'm called to the blissful days of pregnancy, before special needs, when the most I considered in life was stocking my shelves with onesies, diapers and crib toys.


In the blink of an eye, onesies were replaced with compression braces and adaptive equipment. Years of doctors, behavioral therapies, medication and surgeries have gone by in a blur. A decade into parenting, the diapers and crib toys are still here.

This one is a favorite.

Simplicity is a life gone by.

"Do you ever resent typical families?" was a question I received from a fellow special needs mom at the start of this break. She had just returned from the hospital with her child. "Our kids seem to face so much in life."

It's true. Our kids do battle life daily, and in the heat of that moment, I don't begrudge that mom the fleeting thought. But, gosh, as a general practice, resentment is not a healthy road to travel. Besides, I'm pretty sure that even if our children were born typically developing, I would still have found something to complain about.

Life is all about perspective.

I'll be honest, sometimes, we special needs moms take an (unfair) jab at the expense of typical moms. After a monster meltdown, seizure, bout of public incontinence or when facing surgery, it isn't uncommon to hear, "Oh, but I'm sure teething is terribly difficult, too."


Frankly, teething is no fun. This is all just a little (still unfair) venting. Typical parenting is not all easy and special needs parenting is not drudgery all the time.


Did I really just admit that? ;)

And, while simplicity might be something we've all left behind as we say goodbye to our single years and forever enter the realm of parenting, there still is nothing quite like the complex and chaotic ferver of life with special needs.

In my house, that chaos takes on a life of its own. My challenge has been to find my own sliver of peace within the chaos.

Oh, gosh, no!

Ew.

Come to Mamamommy!


Thank you Family and Friends.

Thank you Mom Cave.

Thank you February Break for coming to an end. May my fellow special needs parents in New York all be resting.

16 comments:

  1. Awesome as always.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you.

      P.S. This break stunk to high Heaven. lol.

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  2. Replies
    1. This times, nerves are a bit more fried, but we always bounce back. Our younger son has yet to step foot BACK into school after the week away. His anxiety is a ripple effect of the week away for "vacation". Lol. Miss you guys! I'll be back in full swing soon!

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  3. Very open and honest. Just as it should be. I hope you find the rest you need, Amy.

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  4. Wishing you more rest and more peace and the boys a little break in their myriad of troubles. I see those smiles on your pictures and I just fall in love all over again.
    You just keep writing and sharing and reaching out because I just know that is your lifeline to reality! I adore you woman and though I am not a pinterest fan, otherwise, I think you got this! ♥

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  5. I think there's got to be a special place in heaven for the moms who've raised especially challenging kids. I remember as a kid, watching an older mom in our neighborhood as she strolled with her grown (special needs) son, and I felt the heaviness of her burdens, though her face glowed with love for him.

    It touched me deeply then and all these years later, I can still see them on their daily walks, a duo bonded by love and need and something that I don't even have a word for. It was beautiful and sometimes heartbreaking, if that makes sense. I'm guessing that you understand what that other element was, though it might still be unnamed. It is, I think, that something beyond that special needs parents develop.

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    1. Beth, I think of this often as I walk with him.

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  6. Love those photos.. You've a big heart. I do like the photo at the end of a tub filled with rose petals. I often wonder who really has that life. Beautiful post..

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    1. That was a spa photo. Beth has me rethinking these, however. I'm going to look into another source for my photos...

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  7. So true. I think we all feel overwhelmed at times as moms. Deep breath

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    1. Hi, Anna! It's true. Usually, I laugh off my general level of overload. These breaks, however, are above and beyond. I absolutely need to improve upon my system!

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  8. Wonderful post, Amy! Wishing you peace and a little bit of simplicity after the break.

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    Replies
    1. Ugh. School breaks breed school phobia upon return. Younger son has yet to go to school. We're working on it, though. Thanks!

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  9. Nice post! I hope you are enjoying your break and doing something special for yourself today!

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    1. Don't I wish! Still recovering from break, but change is very hard for some spectrum kids. I understand. Thanks for the thought, and thanks for reading!

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