I officially can not shop at the grocery store with our younger son.
He's such a jolly fellow that I seem to forget our limitations. And, because he's been experiencing school phobia and therefore always with me, well, going without him hasn't been an option lately.
We're buddies, I told myself. We can do this.
Merely seconds in the door, I was reminded of the first rule of grocery shopping with him--indeed, perhaps this is a rule to be generalized into mainstream society altogether--and that is:
Children with ADHD should not be allowed to steer anything, including a shopping cart.
We struggle with this, he and I. He's a sensory kids who fidgets. I imagine he's also a bit anxious about all the people there but just hides it with his whack-a-doodle antics. After all, that's what some ADHD-like activity is, mania fueled by anxiety.
At any rate, the fact of the matter is, the kid needs a home base while shopping. A spot to call his own. He's not comfortable roaming free. So, he grabs the helm of the cart. Moving him elsewhere has been like training a stubborn puppy.
Why is this a problem? Oh, only that three destroyed displays and a cranky, bruised geriatric later, I was breathing fire at this child and hissing at him to WATCH and STEER! Why, oh why, can't he just PAY ATTENTION?
Yeah. I said it. I asked my kid with ADHD why he couldn't pay attention. It's the worst thing you can do, calling your child out on his deficits.
"It's entirely too early in the morning for me to be growling at you, young man!" I said. And then, I grabbed his mushy cheeks in my hands and kissed them for all the world to see.
"Yuck," he said.
"I'm sorry I was short with you. That's my problem, not yours. I will work on that. As for the kiss," I said to him, "deal with it."
And I let him take the helm as we tried to make our way to the check out, realizing that I'm probably not the best person to take him to the grocery store. Certainly, there are worse things to realize about yourself in life.
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NaBloPoMo July Challenge. I'm working it.
I'll be honest about this subject, I hated grocery shopping with my 'normal' kids for the exact same reason. Grocery stores seem to have too much stimulation and none of it is the kind that quiets a child of special needs or otherwise! I would do anything, like getting groceries on Sunday morning, which I detested, if Dad would just keep the kids home. Sunday morning in the early 70's was a horrid time to buy groceries because the shelves would be empty from the Saturday evening shoppers. Very few night stockers were on the payroll in those days.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I totally GET this one from my own mommy experiences. I guess you either wait for Dad when you are exhausted or get someone to come in to be with him for a couple of hours. In either case, stock up so you don't have to go often.
♥
Agreed. Kids are rough at the store in general. *Snicker* I still think mine are crazier.
DeleteI had to think about this one for a second. I quite enjoy going to the grocery store, but like you and Jo, it was a distraction with kids in tow. I tried to avoid dragging them along at all costs, but you know, life isn't perfect and sometimes we suffered together. It is easier, no matter how tired you are, to go at night when you have support.
ReplyDeleteI vote for sending my husband after hours!
DeleteI've seen "typical" people, grown adults, crash into displays and other people. My ankles were the target of one such crash just the other day. Oh, and by the way, I love the term "whack-a-doodle!!!"
ReplyDeleteHe was so distracted by every sight, every sound, every everything that he had no clue where that cart was going. He also was oblivious to my demands of, "STOP!" Simply clueless. And, I also know that he didn't "intent" to do any of it. :)
DeleteI don't have the ADHD piece to handle, but I do have a kid who would be happy to be left all day in the bulk foods to eat his way to oblivion.
ReplyDeleteSo, we worked out a deal. You help mom through the shopping, and we hit the bulk food aisle at the end where you can choose an item to take home. You can weigh it, punch in the code, and print the sticker for the bag, all of which he can now do on his own. Thankfully, it has helped to manage him through the trip.
It's a disaster if I try to take them both.
Ann
No way. No way would I ever do both.
DeleteBribing. Bribing is always good!!!
I have always taken my kids everywhere with me because I didn't have a choice. I would be completely frustrated because I always have to control the cart. I think you handled the situation well. Like Tasha said, anyone can run down a display, and everyone can have their heads up their butts and run into someone. Going at the butt crack of dawn would have been hard for me! LOL Bless his heart, there is just so much to see at the grocery store!!
ReplyDeleteWonderful blog as usual giving me a great eye view of your life.
Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Kathy, I absolutely love your take on life!! :)
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