He was restless. He needed to move. In time, the walls of this house would close in on him. Go! Get out! His mind worked against him as he paced back and forth from one room to the other.
He simply must leave before he exploded.
"I hear you buddy," I said to him, knowing full well that I had not given him a clear answer as to when he could go in the car. I was stalling, and he knew it. I tapped away on the keys of my phone, working on the Blogging A to Z Challenge.
"Car!" He was becoming insistent, but, for goodness's sake, he just got back twenty minutes ago!
Kids. Life is all about the kids. Advocating, shaping behavior, night duty, bathroom duty, bringing home the bacon, bringing home the groceries, stretching a dollar or stretching your level of patience. It's all about the kids.
I think if we just gave into that, perhaps things would go a bit easier. However, Mom and Dad do get tired sometimes. There are some days when he can spend a mere 30 minutes in the home. He's had spells where we have driven him in shifts all through the night.
I kept clicking away on my phone. It was taking my stress away from the kitchen and channeling it into cyberspace. I had a challenge to deal with here! Today was letter "A", and "C" was just around the corner. Stupid "C". It started as "Clap" but morphed into "Choose" but I started to reconsider "Clap"...
"CAR!" He was at the door now, yanking and pulling at the door. Wrenching and whining as though we were holding him hostage, hostage in this warm home with his security blankets and all of his toys.
Yes, I understood. It could have been gastric pain. Sensory dysfunction. Lack of play skills or coping skills. It could have been any number or any combination of these. As I had a million times before, I pulled out visual timers, medication, visual schedules--all the of supports I could find to TELL THIS KID HE HAD TO WAIT.
Daddy drives the car, and Daddy was in the garage being cranky. Daddy never, ever, EVER gets cranky. Daddy was due.
Younger son was suffering from general anxiety and separation anxiety. He wasn't leaving the house or me. Unfortunatley, we in this house were in a holding pattern.
This child simply can't tolerate a holding pattern.
"CAR! CAR! CAR! CAR!" He was relentless.
I clicked away at the keys on my phone, trying to make friends with the letter "C". The right words were just not finding me. Life was getting in the way. Oh, heck! Maybe I should scrap it all and write about "Crowds".
"Carousels"?
"Crayons!"...
This post was written in resonse to the letter prompt "C" in the Blogging A to Z Challenge 2012.
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do you have any hair left?? o my gosh...
ReplyDeleteThis life is nuts. That's why I have the Mom Cave.
DeleteAw, boo, the sentiment doesn't translate in comments, but you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteGarsh I remember those days when the level of anxiety got to the point of utter frustration and I was helpless to make things happen any faster than they already were!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there- no promises it will get better--but eventually I'm sure you'll make it back to the Mom-cave!! I can send a bottle of wine and have it waiting for you :)
Cheers, Jenn
http://www.wine-n-chat.com
The moment has already passed. Thankfully. However, Spring Break is just around the corner! Yes, to the wine (jk!) and also to the words of wisdom you have to offer!
DeleteI absolutely understood it! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm in awe of the patience you must have and how well you cope.
ReplyDeletePaula, this was one of those times I just had to provide the teaching tools for him--which he wasn't accepting--and then bury my face in my own coping mechanism. Not my most graceful parenting moment, but they all can't be.
Deleteso i guess CAR it is... amy, your writing is always so interesting.... great post!
ReplyDeleteIt was right there in front of my nose the whole time!
DeleteI marvel at the level of patience you have - but I really see the grace as well. You have an incredible family!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI am enjoying your series immensely --- I don't mean to imply I gain pleasure from your difficulty, so I apologize if it comes out that way! I simply mean to say that you take a crappy situation & make it into something productive that you can share with the rest of us. Thank you for that. We all need perspective & you provide it in the necessary dosage.
ReplyDeleteAndi-Roo /// @theworld4realz
http://www.theworld4realz.com/
theworldforrealz@gmail.com
Thank you for visiting, and you are absolutely flattering me!
DeleteHi. I already follow you, but wanted to drop a note. Your post on the A to Z Challenge made me give it a go myself. Love reading your posts!
ReplyDeleteYes, Justin, I remember you, and thanks for stopping by--a huge thanks for letting me know that you are in A to Z!! I can't believe that my post prompted you! Such a compliment! Looking forward to sharing this with you!
DeleteToday must have been the day for meltdowns. Were they in the weather forecast?? Hang in there. Easier said than done, I know...but you did get a C post accomplished, and that is something!!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Oh, Kathy...I hope I don't burn out!!
DeleteI love the way you built tension in the piece, the way you were searching for a blog topic, while your son - and the reader - are screaming CAR, CAR, CAR! Very skillfully done.
ReplyDeleteQuite the compliment. Thank you for noticing!
Deletewonderful blog. I was a reminder to me to have patience. Thank you so much for sharing
ReplyDeleteThank you. Please know that patience is a process in this house. Definitely a process.
Deleteao eloquent; it was worth the personal struggle ti took you to write it. And I do not have a chld that needs to be on the "go," but I have other stresses, and I can tell you, there are days when truly, my sanity is my escape into cyberspace and blogging. It IS an escape. And I need it. Don't give up yourr own escape -- otherwise you might just grab those car keys and drive off into a sunset:))
ReplyDeleteI think we've all felt the breaking point. My challenge with parenting these kids is: if you grab those keys and drive off, what will become of them? Ugh. That's what keeps me going.
DeleteWow you are amazing. I am inspired by your patience and love for your children. I had a toast to the CAR! Our issue is THE BUS, but I guess the Bs have passed...
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous; Thank you for the toast! We are also having bus issues!! I just called a. CSE.If you are interested, check out my post on "Defiance" A week or so ago. My stomach hurts over the bus. Sending you strength!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! Same to you...
DeleteAgain, I was right there with you. When you tell us your stories and your challenges, each time, you bring us along with you and in doing so you have made us all cheer you and the boys onward.
ReplyDeleteCar, humph, I had money on Carousel! Didn't win the lottery either.
♥
PS>>>fish fed.
DeleteYou sure got your vitamin "C" for the day! Car is it, and that's the way it's got to be. You could thank him for making the decision easy for you (ducks really fast) or not. Thanks for sharing a part of your day/life with us here. It's real, honest, and to the core.
ReplyDeleteThose were definitely some challenging moments for you, Amy. The devotion you have for your children is inspiring. I truly hope that you find some time for yourself. I'm sure God is always looking down on you and smiling.
ReplyDeleteCAR! (CAVE!!!!!)
ReplyDelete