Breaking Away

I love my salon! And, no, I am not so far off of my rocker that I am sitting in the Mom Cave imagining that I am getting some salon services...although, hey, there are some days I just might BE so far gone that this thought is a good one!!

No, today, I am actually FREE!!! I do not have an overly chatty homeschooler attached to my hip, and I am not playing with the salon vacuum with our older son. No way. This morning, I made a break for it. Although I am able to see the stupidity in fixing my hair in order to go somewhere to have it fixed, I did it anyway. I put on REAL clothes with coordinating jewelry and shoes that are not made for chasing a bolting child at a top rate of speed.

I am sipping coffee. And, the music is in French.

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!

As I sit here allowing my natural color to more easily come through to be seen by the outside world (snort), echoing in my head are the screams from my children as I was leaving the house. Younger son is filled with anxiety. I am his safe person. It seems as though he melts at the mere thought of going anywhere without me. I love him so much, yet this is wearing me down. Our older son can't sit still. He has very few play skills. And, as soon as he is awake, he wants to be out the door and in the car.

As I was leaving for the salon, dressed like one who lived in Outside World, the kids were losing it. Screams, cries, panic were all around me, and I started to absorb it.

"Go," said my husband.

I did. I ran. I ran for dear life. Now I sit in this chair so thankful for the reprieve yet wanting to cry. If autism weren't such a strain on my husband and our family in general, I would stay here all day. If autism didn't cost so much darned money, I'd get every service they offer here. Then, I would emerge reborn, a supermodel/superhero vixen ready to fight disabilities everywhere for all of mankind!

Sigh. That's a tall order for a salon, I guess. For now, I am happy for the coffee, French music and a little time to be alone with my thoughts.